How to Keep Your Standards High Without Pushing Love Away

There’s a lie a lot of women have been fed: “If you keep your standards that high, you’ll end up alone.”

Let’s dismantle that right now. High standards don’t block love but the unhealed people who can’t meet them do.

So if someone walks away because you expect consistency, communication, emotional intelligence, or clarity — that’s not you pushing love away. That’s you making room for the kind of love that actually knows how to stay.

YOUR STANDARDS ARE NOT TOO MUCH

You’re not asking for luxury — you’re asking for effort and presence. The problem isn’t that your standards are high. The real problem is that we’ve normalized one-sided love so much, basic respect now feels like a big ask.

Let them say you’re picky.

Let them call you high maintenance.

Because what you’re actually doing is refusing to raise grown adults who don’t know how to love properly.

3 WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR STANDARDS WHILE STAYING OPEN TO LOVE

STEP 1: SEPARATE YOUR WALLS FROM YOUR BOUNDARIES

Keeping your standards high doesn’t mean closing your heart. It means opening your heart only to what feels safe, aligned, and intentional.

You can be vulnerable without being naive. Boundaries keep you open to love not closed off from it.

STEP 2: STAY CURIOUS, NOT GUARDED

You don’t have to lead with fear. Let people show you who they are without writing the ending before the first chapter.

You’re not protecting your peace by assuming the worst. You protect it by staying grounded in what you know you deserve.

STEP 3: KNOW WHEN TO LET GO — QUICKLY

When someone shows you they can’t meet your standard?

Bless and release. Don’t over-explain. Don’t negotiate with red flags.

Protecting your standard isn’t about being cold — it’s about being clear.

LOVE SHOULD NEVER REQUIRE SHRINKING

The right partner won’t feel “threatened” by your standards. They’ll respect them.

They won’t need constant reminders of how to love you — they’ll remember because they want to.

High standards don’t block love. They reveal who’s ready for it.

JCGANG, you don’t have to lower your standards to invite love in.

You just need to stand so firmly in your worth that only real ones can reach you.

The right love will never ask you to shrink — it’ll rise to meet you.
And that’s on Jenny Fucking Chang.